Puny Humans (2023)
1. I am so far from home and all alone
but somehow I feel close
when I'm watching your TV shows.
They show me who you are,
the things that spark, the loves, the fears,
so deep in your heart of hearts.
2. I see the pretty things that lure you in,
the hungering, the jealousies
that make you crazy.
But mostly it's the petty things
that fill your weeks—
the comfort foods, the glowing screens
distract you from your pain.
Oh, you puny humans.
3. Your day's extent is eating breakfast,
sending texts and planning next
who you'd have sex with.
But it's perplexing: though it flexes,
no one frets at how defenseless
the human neck is.
Oh, you puny humans.
I won't shed a tear for you.
No, I won't shed a tear.
I won't shed a tear for you.
No, I won't shed a tear.
I won't shed a tear for you.
I won't shed a tear for you.
4. This won't hurt a bit.
Just think of it as an adjustment,
a gentle judgement or a quiet apocalypse.
You won't feel a thing until you wake,
you might feel something missing.
(But there's always something missing.)
Oh, you puny humans.
No one can hear your screams.
They only echo in my dreams.
This is my reality:
I am alone, but free.
I am alone, but free.
I am alone.
I am so far from home,
with so far to go.
I watch the lightyears pass
in such a dark and lonely place.
I am alone, but free.
Toothpaste (2014)
1. Have you lost faith?
Have you lost heart?
Has what is left grown tired and hard?
Has it been hard?
Has it been long?
Has it been going on and on?
Would it kill you
to not treat the toothpaste
like something you were trying to strangle?
2. Has it gone too far?
Has it gone too wrong?
Has it just worn you down?
Are you left with rage
when all your love is gone?
Are you left with nothing left at all?
Would it kill you
to not treat the toothpaste
like something you were trying to strangle?
Are you left with nothing left at all?
Lemon and Lime (2022)
1. I wanted to believe in love one more time.
I was hoping: maybe you could save me.
You had to leave your broken years behind
and just start again.
Would I catch you if you were brave enough to dive?
2. Who could have known how lovely love could be?
But sometimes you can taste more
of the sour than the sweet.
But it's still divine, like a lemon and lime.
It's still divine, like a lemon and lime.
3. By now you know the pleasure
and the pain are intertwined.
It's just the way it is.
Can you believe how all the joys and tears
can be so satisfying?
Like a lemon and lime.
So satisfying, like a lemon and lime.
So satisfying, like a lemon and lime.
So satisfying, like a lemon and lime.
Like a lemon and lime.
The Year of My Fall (2018)
1. I was born too soon.
It was all brand new.
I’ve had to make it up as I go.
But I found my way
and I found my place
and I found some joy in it all.
I was born again;
don’t know exactly when,
but I know my heart was strangely warmed.
Lived a life of grace–
at least it felt that way–
but then the whole damn thing
came crashing down to the ground.
Did Satan ask the Lord to sift my soul?
Take everything away from me, like Job?
I’m not one to question God,
but I liked how things were before…
the year of my fall.
2. I remember how
I thought I had it all.
Maybe I did, but now I’ll never know.
Lightning struck me twice,
then it became my life.
Who I was before, I can barely recall.
Cradling my head in empty hands;
the facts are clear, but I still don’t understand
how I had so much, but somehow managed to lose it all
in the year of my fall.
3. In a twist of fate,
I would die too late
to be spared the pain of it all.
I do what I can
with the days I have
and try not to dwell on what’s lost.
Where the river runs nobody knows.
The current sweeps us on in its blind force.
There’s no going back;
there’s only hope I’ll survive at all…
Does fate or grace or karma guide me now?
Or is it just dumb luck and nothing more?
I’m praying for some mercy in the years that lie beyond.
I’m pleading for some mercy in the years that lie beyond.
I’m begging for some mercy in the years that lie beyond
the year of my fall.
Broken (2018)
1. Things come together.
Things fall apart.
It's the law of the land
and the way of the heart.
From your window,
a falling star.
A world is collapsing,
but it looks small from afar.
Why does everything have to be broken?
Why does everything have to be sad?
Why does everything precious and holy
just slip right through your hands?
Why is everything falling apart?
Why couldn't it be put together again?
Why does everything have to be broken?
2. The weight of the years
is starting to show.
The dull grip of gravity's
dragging you down.
Your heart is burdened;
a chest full of stones.
You breathe the same air,
but it's heavy now.
You breathe the same air,
but it's heavy now.
Why does everything have to be broken?
Why does everything have to be sad?
Why does everything precious and holy
just slip right through your hands?
Why is everything falling apart?
Why couldn't it be put together again?
Why does everything have to be broken?
Why does everything get old and tired,
ugly, cynical, and so full of rage?
How does passion cool to bitterness
that never goes away?
Are there wounds that never heal with time
and sins for which we can never pay?
Are there feelings that infect our minds
and memories that will never fade?
Why is everything falling apart?
Why couldn't it be put together again?
Why does everything have to be broken?
Do you want to be broken?
Do you want to heal?
Do you want to know enough pain
that you finally begin to feel (again)?
Everybody is broken.
We're most beautiful where we're fragile and marred.
The most important stories of our lives
are written in our scars
(and on our hearts).
Come on and get broken!
Go ahead and be sad.
Nothing lasts, but nothing's lost.
It just changes and comes back.
Let everything fall apart.
It'll come together again.
Give in; get broken.
Hammer on Wood (2016)
1. Stop checking your phone.
No one's gonna call anymore.
You know you're alone
when no one answers
when you're talking to yourself.
2. But what would you say?
You got what you deserved anyway.
You got what you gave:
an empty heart and an early bed
(or early grave).
3. You took what you could;
packed your memories—
some of them good.
Like hammer on wood,
it's ringing true and loud and hollow.
4. Stop checking your mail;
that endless binary sea,
but nobody's there.
You pull in your sails.
You drift away,
just drift away.
5. Just close your eyes,
just close your eyes.
This is your life.
Is this your life?
Or has it all been dreaming?
6. Have I been awake
or have I been dreaming?
Awake, asleep:
always dreaming.
7. Just close your eyes.
Just close your eyes.
This is your life.
Is this your life?
Or has it all been dreaming?
8. Stop checking your phone.
No one's gonna call anymore.
You know you're alone.
You know you're alone.
Sinking Like a Stone
1. We all want to be loved;
we're afraid to be alone.
We offer up our souls, but still it's not enough.
Our need, it only grows.
We're terrified of being left alone
with nothing but this hole: sinking like a stone.
Sinking like a stone, sinking like a stone.
2. We all want to be loved,
but we're afraid of being known.
Naked and exposed, we'll always hide ourselves.
So don't get too close; the intimacy's too much.
We're vulnerable to touch;
it opens wide the soul: sinking like a stone.
Sinking like a stone, sinking like a stone.
3. We all want to be loved;
we're afraid we'll disappear.
Love, pain, and fear are better than nothing at all.
We all feel the void. We're all hanging on
for dear life, lest we fall
into those dark jaws: sinking like a stone.
Sinking like a stone, sinking like a stone.
Sinking like a stone,
sinking like a stone,
sinking like a stone.
We all want to be loved, but we're afraid. . .
Monster
Who could love this thing I've become?
Who could love this thing?
1. Behold the monstrous beast
as it lies there, sleeping.
Don't wake it from its dreams;
don't disturb its slumber.
For when it wakes it eats,
and its ravenous power knows no pity.
It knows only hunger and the lust to devour.
2. It was born to life like you—
wet and crying.
On its mother's breast was soothed
and it soon was sleeping.
But when it woke it knew
hunger and longing, which grew,
which consumed, and could never be sated.
It transformed to hatred.
Who could love this thing I've become?
Who could love this monster?
When will it awake?
What will it devour?
It takes and takes and takes,
but no one knows the hour.
Only a fool would try to tame
such a heartless creature.
Run away, run away, run away!
For if you're in reach
your heart may be its next feeding.
Who could love this thing I've become?
Who could love this monster,
this monster, this monster?
Who could love this thing I've become?
Who could love what I'm becoming?
Who could love this thing I've become?
Who could love this monster, this monster?
Die Alone (2018)
We're all going to die alone. (Hallelujah!)
Been that way since we were born. (Hallelujah!)
Everyone's hoping for a home. (Hallelujah!)
Someone they can call their own (Hallelujah!)
Everybody's looking for a friend. (Hallelujah!)
But we're terrified to let them in. (Hallelujah!)
If they knew what's in your heart and head, (Hallelujah!)
they'd leave you on your own again. (Hallelujah!)
All our lives are spent chasing the wind,
but it's the wind that catches us in the end.
Bones and memories turn to dust.
And another generation only coughs.
Is that enough? Is that enough?
Is that enough? Is that enough?
Spend our days wondering what we did (Hallelujah!)
to deserve all this. (Hallelujah!)
But we've spent our years collecting sins. (Hallelujah!)
Maybe that's why it's come to this. (Hallelujah!)
We all know we're going to die. (Hallelujah!)
We just don't know how or when.
Morgenchoral (from The Three Penny Opera)
Wach auf du verrotteter Christ!
Mach dich an dein sündiges Leben,
zeig, was für ein Schurke du bist,
der Herr wird es dir dann schon geben.
Verkauf deinen Brüder, du Schuft!
Verschacher dein Eh'weib, du Wicht!
Der Herrgott, für dich ist er Luft?
Er zeigt dir's beim Jüngstern Gericht!
Wake up all you backslidden saints!
Get on with your sinful endeavors.
Show your most iniquitous traits
before the Lord damns you forever.
You'd sell your own brother, you cad!
And barter your wife if it paid!
You think that the Lord can be had?
Find out on the last judgment day!
All the Things That You Can't Change (2017)
1. There's only silence when you wake.
You breathe the air, but it is thick.
You don't know if you'll ever sing again;
you don't remember how it felt.
2. Because everything has changed.
Your little life came to an end.
It wasn't much, but it was all you had
and all that's left is sad.
3. Everything's broken that could break.
You took everything that you could take.
Wish you'd been good instead of trying to be great,
but it would still have ended the same.
4. All the things that you can't change;
all the things you can't forget;
all the demons that have been with you so long
that they start to feel like friends:
5. Everything you know's come to an end.
Nothing will ever be the same.
But from the rubble new life begins
and it will be beautiful in its own way.
Beautiful in its own way.
The Day That I Gave In (2021)
1. The day that I gave in
was the day my life began.
Resignation filled my soul,
I felt relief I'd never known,
the day that I gave in.
I surrendered to the flow.
though I didn't know how to swim,
but I learned how to drown,
let the riptide drag me down,
the day that I gave in.
2. Well, I'd never felt so free
as when I learned I couldn't win.
With so many ways to lose,
there was no more need to choose,
so why not just give in?
The day that I gave in
I shrugged my shoulders of their weight
I felt as light as wind.
All my anger fell away
as my ambition dissipated
and I was born again.
The day that I gave in.
3. I learned to let it go—
unclenched my tired hands.
Gave up the need for control
and the need for something more,
the day that I gave in.
I prayed to be serene
about the things I couldn't change.
The answer to my prayer
is that I no longer care.
The day that I gave in.
Nothing will ever change.
Nothing will ever change.
Nothing will ever change.
4. Like a phoenix in reverse,
I lit a match and threw it in.
I watched it all burn down.
I played my violin
on the day that I gave in.
I watched it all burn down;
felt the fire warm my skin.
I know what I know now
and I'd do it all again.
'Cause I'd know how it would end—
just like it all began.
It will always be the same:
there will always be the day,
the day that I gave in.
Soulmate (2022)
1. I thought you were my soulmate,
but now I just don't know.
How can there be so much hate
if it was ever love?
I thought the years would be more kind,
that love would only grow with time.
How could I have been so blind
to think that you'd love
someone you didn't even like?
We were both changing with each new season.
I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised
to see you leave to live your "destiny"
with the soulmate I could never be.
2. So I went looking for a soulmate
when I should have been looking for my soul.
And though I thought I had some good dates,
I was emptier than I'd been before.
I was hoping you could save me
from the gnawing emptiness that plagued me.
If I were alone with you, then maybe I could
finally find the peace that I'd been craving.
But my loneliness, it only grew,
because loneliness always has room for two.
Eventually I had to face the truth:
you'd never save me and I couldn't complete you.
3. Could you be my soulmate?
My heart is holding hope.
If we're not too jaded, and if we're not too old.
I used to see love more mysteriously—
across a crowded room, our eyes would meet—
But now I understand a soulmate to be
not something that you find,
but something we have to keep creating.
The intimacy we all desire
only grows when souls are open wide
and all the fear and pain that's inside us
is laid bare before our lover's eyes.
4. I don't know about a soulmate,
but I've found my soul.
Love (2018)
1. Steve says that I’m not in love:
“It’s too soon— blah, blah, blah…"
But I didn’t listen to a word he said.
Maybe I will never learn
the thousand ways
that love can hurt you,
but I’d rather die learning
than live just avoiding the pain.
So I’m jumping back in it.
Love—could anyone hope for more than
love?
Isn’t it all we want?
Love—who wouldn’t give it all for love?
2. Lovers have come and lovers have gone;
they’ve spilled their ink and they’ve sung their songs.
God only knows I’m not the first one to feel this way.
Love, from a distance, is cool and remote
like the moon seen through a telescope.
But now I’m in your orbit, under your sway.
And I can’t get away from
Love— could anyone hope for more than
love?
Isn’t it all we want?
Love— who wouldn’t give it all for love?
3. Does the world need another love song
with the hopeful lift of ii, V, I chords
and a “love, love, love” that comes back again and again?
We might get tired of the same refrain,
the pop cliches, deceptive cadences,
but we all hope we’ll find love that never ends.
And so we keep singing:
Love— could anyone hope for more than
love?
Isn’t it all we want?
Love— who wouldn’t give it all for love?
Love— could anyone hope for more than
love?
Isn’t it all we want?
Love— who wouldn’t give it all for love?
Love, love, love… Who wouldn’t give it all for love?
Goodbye (2022)
1. Just because you'd had enough
doesn't mean it was never love.
It doesn't mean those years are lost—
just fodder for the flames.
We were young and eager and had no idea
all the grief and change that would come with years,
or the wounds we couldn't wash with tears,
and the words we'd never find to say:
2. I'm sorry I could never be
everything you ever needed.
I'm sorry that you felt so cheated,
but just had to carry on.
I'm not as bad as you make me seem
and I'm not as good as I'd like to be.
I'll talk it through in therapy
and work it out in songs that mean
Goodbye. Goodbye.
Goodbye. Goodbye.
3. Maybe the anger can get you through
the doubts, the grief, the hole in you.
The whole thing gets so hard to do
that the rage feels like a friend.
But eventually the well runs dry,
the grief and anger satisfied.
The rage you felt, the tears you cried
are just another way to say
Goodbye. Goodbye.
Goodbye. Goodbye.
4. We tried, we failed, we found our freedom;
I hope it all can be redeemed.
I pray that you will find you peace
now that we've run out of ways to say
Goodbye.
Goodbye. Goodbye.
We tried, we failed, we found our freedom;
I hope it all can be redeemed.
I pray that you will find you peace
now that we've run out of ways to say
Flesh of Your Flesh (2024)
1. The two became one
and the one became two;
A bond strong as time
entwining you.
The strands woven so tightly
they cannot be undone.
You are chained by a love
like a mother and son.
Like a mother, or a lover,
Like a child, or a twin,
a part of your soul
is a part of him.
(Like a mother and son.)
Flesh of your flesh,
bone of your bone,
breath of your breath,
moan of your moan,
blood of your blood,
home of your home,
bound by a love
that I'll never know.
You are bound by a love
that I will never know.
2. You gave him your body;
you gave him your blood:
a mystic communion
of sacramental love.
You shared the same table;
you breathed the same air.
He kneeled at your altar
and uttered his prayers.
3. Where does the one end
and the other one begin?
Is there space in between
that will let me in?
(Will you let me in?)
Borrowed Time (2024)
The sun and the moon grow tired in the sky
and the stars continue to die.
The clouds fill with rain again and again,
but they never seem to leave the sky.
Industry crawls, even ants seem slower
and the lights in the window grow dim.
When we wake from our dreams
it seems dawn's still sleeping
and the birds are too tired to sing.
We're living on borrowed time.
Living on borrowed time.
Our hands, they tremble
from the weight of remembering
and our backs are bent with the days.
Our houses are shuttered
against fears we can't utter
as the daylight begins to fade.
We're living on borrowed time.
Living on borrowed time.
We will give back the dust
that our lives are made of,
and we'll give back our breath
to the air it came from.
When the silver cord is severed
and the golden bowl is shattered,
its pieces scattered over the ground.
The pitcher is cracked
and the well is in tatters;
there was no water anymore anyway.
We're living on borrowed time.
Living on borrowed time.
We're living on borrowed time.
Living on borrowed time.
We're living on borrowed time.
Living on borrowed time.
We will give back the dust
that our lives are made of,
and we'll give back the breath
to the air it came from.
Our dust will live on
in generations yet to come,
and our final sigh
will flow into another person's lungs.
We're living on borrowed time.
Living on borrowed time.
Found and Lost (2024)
1. I found myself in a laundromat,
a roll of quarters in my hand,
with the down-and-out
and the single dads
wondering where it all went wrong.
I wound up on a therapist's couch
trying to get my insides out;
diving deep into the coldest,
darkest places in my soul.
I found some healing
and made my peace
when I found out beauty
could ache like grief
and they both share a place
inside of me.
2. I found some joy, despite my fears;
I found a love despite my years;
and I found out laughter's
a lot like tears—
water from the same well.
It turns out joy and pain
can be experienced simultaneously.
The sun and rain, the wheat and the weeds—
you have to hold them both.
I found contentment,
though it came late,
but there's still a longing
that I can't shake
and it seems like it is here to stay.
3. I lost myself in my brand new life,
in my big ideas and the songs I write.
Sometimes I think I'll lose my mind
with the beauty of it all.
I don't know if I'm finding my way
or losing myself in the day to day.
Can I still be me and give myself away
to the things I love the most?
I stumble on and when I look back
I see a strange grace in this winding path.
All I can do is shake my head and laugh.
4. I'm well aware that I'm losing time;
it's no secret that I'm going to die.
When my time is up you'll have to pry
my fingers from this precious world.
I'll hold it dear and I'll hold it tight
and I'll only let go 'cause it was never mine.
What it all meant, I can't decide,
and it won't matter once I'm gone.
But I know as long as I'm still breathing
immortality has no meaning
'cause each moment holds an eternity.
When I'm Dreaming (2011)
1. Who knows of the ever after?
Who wants to arrive there faster?
I’m not sure about forever—
I only know I want to be together.
2. Who knows what our dreams are made of—
hopes or fears or fairy dustings?
All I know is when I’m fading,
there’s another world there waiting.
And when I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming of you.
3. When this sleep is finally ended,
I’ll wake up and I’ll remember
something, someone, somehow waiting
just beyond what dreams are made of.
And when I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming of you.